Stress and Emotional Resilience Cycle
Emotional Resilience: How to Safeguard Your Mental Health (Book)
Dr. Harry Barry, a GP and an expert in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) published some of his remarkable findings on emotional resilience in the book ‘Emotional Resilience: How To Safeguard Your Mental Health’ (2018).
Originally launched in May 2018, this book is by far one of the richest and most popular texts on emotional resilience. With relatable concepts and practical examples, Dr. Barry, in his book identifies emotional resilience as the ‘building blocks of life’.
He says that the reason why some people are better at managing stress than others is their resilience power. Exposure to toxic stress (aka burnout) evokes intense emotions and our coping mechanisms are immediately deployed to manage the situation (Barry, 2018).
Dr. Barry says resilient people are better and quicker at deploying these coping strategies and hence can adapt to difficulties with better comfort.
Furthermore, he has mentioned that although some people are born with better resilience and emotional balance than others, with the right guidance, we all are capable of building ourselves as emotionally resilient and psychologically mature human beings.
The book is a benchmark in the field of applied psychology and mental health interventions that each one of us can benefit from. Through practical and simple activities that are primarily based on the principles of CBT, the book also serves as a training manual for those who want to build their resilience power.
The foundation of the intervention strategies mentioned in the book circles around three concepts (Barry, 2018):
- Cognition – the way we think
- Perception – the way we analyze and evaluate things
- Action – the way we react to it
The principles mentioned in the book attempts to improve the way one thinks, feels, and behaves, and ultimately aims at helping the reader evolve as an emotionally resilient human being.
Emotional resilience, as Dr. Barry suggests, can be developed by:
- Recognizing the fact that our thoughts influence our actions
- Acknowledging stress and be willing to effectively cope with it
- Being open to changes and flexible while adapting to new situations
- Accepting the truth that by changing the way we react to stress, a lot of difference can be made
- Embracing the self by building self-compassion and empathy
Dr. Harry Barry’s Main Findings
With more than 35 years of experience as a therapist and psychologist, Dr. Barry presented us with many of his musings on depression, anxiety, and other psychological conditions. However, this book on building emotional resilience, as most agree, is his greatest contribution to the field of mental health so far.
Dr. Barry segmented his book ‘Emotional Resilience: How To Safeguard Your Mental Health’ into three parts. All of his findings are based on three skill sets that he believes is the key to building emotional resilience. These skillsets include (Barry, 2018):
1. Personal Skills
The skills required to manage our personal lives – vitals like self-acceptance, empathy, self-esteem, thinking, reasoning, problem-solving, anxiety and frustration management, beating procrastination, and emotional regulation.
In his extensive career as a therapist, the author has encountered numerous cases of anxiety, depression, low productivity, and stress disorders, and he relates all of these anomalies to the lack of these personal skills. Unconditional self-acceptance, according to Dr. Barry is the key to building emotional resilience and power.
2. Social Skills
Social skills have been defined as the successful interaction with the self and with the environment. It is the ability to begin and sustain long-term interpersonal relationships (Phillips, 1978).
“A human is a social creature”.
Aristotle
By means of communication, contact comfort, and co-operation, we coexist with other humans in a close-knit society.
In the segment on social skills, Harry Barry has mentioned that improving the ways in which we interact with others, perceive their problems, and adjust with them, can help in building our emotional resilience and allow us to face the burnouts positively.
His activities on social skills improvements involve (Barry, 2018):
- Developing and practicing empathy in everyday life – at work and at home
- Reading and understanding social cues – embedded in both verbal and nonverbal communications
- Managing social anxiety and performance phobia
- Utilizing the power of self-expression
3. Life Skills
Life skills are the smooth blend of all the social, personal, and cognitive skills that we are blessed with. It includes the power to peacefully resolve a conflict, the ability to manage stress and cope with it efficiently, and the power to develop a perfect work-life balance.
By improving the set of skills that fall under this category, Dr. Barry has ensured that one can definitely become more emotionally resilient and well-adjusted. It is a relatively broader area that encompasses a lot of our persona, and Barry, with simple and relatable examples and worksheets, has made it a piece of cake for the readers to apply in their daily lives.
That we are in the middle of an ‘anxiety endemic’ and even the youngsters are not exempted from this, is the main concern around which Dr. Barry has devised the training methods and practical examples in the book.
Dr. Barry’s Suggested Activities
For improving the aforesaid life skills that directly build emotional resilience, he has mentioned activities like (Barry, 2018):
1. Self-acceptance
Practical examples that are easier for the readers to relate with, self-acceptance teach us how to be more compassionate, considerate, and respectful towards ourselves.
2. Beating procrastination
Dr. Barry recognizes procrastination as one of the biggest enemies of emotional resilience.
By simple tips such as letting go of the desire to be perfect, using regular intervals while working for long hours, and breaking down goals into smaller sub-goals, this set of activities is specially designed for the ones struggling with procrastination.
3. Flooding
The manifestation of anxiety, stress, and depression is often physical – with symptoms like unexplained headaches, insomnia, palpitations, etc.
Through ‘Flooding’, which is a CBT technique of facing emotions, we can directly encounter our problems and attempt to change them. There are no limits and no bars in flooding, each and every thought that we perceive as disturbing is invited and dealt with.
The only thing required is unconditional acceptance and the willingness to combat them. By far, this has been one of the most successful CBT strategies to build resilience.
4. Finding the balance
Emotional resilience is a trajectory of healthy functioning after encountering a highly adverse incident. (Bonanno, Westphal, & Mancini, 2011).
It is the fine balance that we can develop between our emotions and the way we let them affect our lives. In the section based on life skills development, Dr. Barry mentioned that once we have acquired the skills to cope with the daily life stressors, we are already more emotionally resilient.
For finding the perfect balance in life, we can:
- Keep a daily schedule where we can note down our assignments for the day and act according to the plan
- Maintain a priority list and see where our kids, partners, work, parents, personal care, and social life comes in it
- Come back and rebuild our priorities as often as we need to
- Commit to devote some quality time to the ones high on the priority list
- Engage in active communication with our partner once in a while to discuss the roller-coasters of life and confronting problems rather than escaping it.
What our readers think
Wow! Thanks for this great and beautiful content, ma’am. My take-home today is “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” Thanks, ma’am, for shedding so much light on Emotional Resilience. I really needed to know this, so I could interpret my emotional resilience abilities.